The World Is Not Out to Get You

I felt betrayed. I felt used. Then I realized I was doing it to myself.

Jan 20, 2026

airplane on ground surrounded with trees — Photo by David Kovalenko on Unsplash

The world is not out to get you.
The world is too busy for that.

You’re not that special.
But also, remember that you ARE that special.

I felt betrayed. I felt used. I felt like things were going against me. I didn’t deserve this treatment.

Maybe you’ve felt this too. Something unfair happens — a setback at work, a relationship that falls apart, an opportunity that slips away — and suddenly everything feels like evidence that the world is conspiring against you.

The thing is… sometimes it IS unfair. Sometimes, people DO screw you over. Sometimes, circumstances genuinely suck and are out of your control.

But if you keep telling yourself that everything is against you…
You won’t get anywhere. I know because I lived there for a while.

I’m the type of person who likes to be in control. I’m self-aware enough to know when something’s my fault versus when it’s someone else’s fault.

I can accept it if I caused my own downfall.

But what really pisses me off is when other people cause it. And when that happens, it’s a WAR within myself.

Why is this happening to me? I’m doing everything I can, but why?
Why are other people screwing things up for me? Why am I in this situation?
I didn’t want this. Heck, I didn’t need this.
Why do some people feel the need to bring me down —
To keep their own power? To be right? To be seen as the best?

And you know what? Some of that was probably true. Doesn’t matter.

Because as long as I stayed focused on what they were doing TO me, I had no power.
I may have been right. I may not have deserved any of those, but I would stay stuck if… I stayed waiting for them to change, for circumstances to shift, for someone to finally see that I didn’t deserve what happened.

That permission never came.

What’s the point of being right? People told me I didn’t deserve it. They couldn’t believe it was happening. And that felt good. For a moment. But it kept me stuck.

Because of that, I really believed that I was the victim.

There’s a term for this: external locus of control. It’s the belief that your life is controlled by forces outside yourself, whether it’s luck, fate, other people’s decisions, and circumstances beyond your control.

When you operate with an external locus of control, you’re stuck. Because if nothing is your fault, nothing is your responsibility. And if nothing is your responsibility, you have no power to change anything.

It’s a trap disguised as comfort.

You get to be right about why things didn’t work out. You get to avoid the discomfort of looking at what YOU could have done differently. You get sympathy.

But you don’t get movement.

The turning point happened gradually. Then suddenly. It just clicked.
I realized that it’s true that I was the victim, but that I should be the victor instead.
While I wallowed, I was not building. While I cried, I was not moving.
But I am thankful that I allowed myself the space to think, feel and reflect.

It all changed when I told myself: “I am grateful. I am blessed. I feel abundant.”

Because that’s the truth.

Even if people ARE working against me, so what? I am grateful to have learned what’s important to me. Even if I lost a lot of things because of it, so what? I am blessed to have support of people around me. Even if I’m starting over, I feel abundant in the promise of tomorrow.

I can be creative. I can find another way, because I feel more equipped than ever.
Maybe these circumstances don’t serve me anymore. Maybe it’s time to find what’s actually mine.

Not everything is about me. And that’s actually freeing.

Because if the world isn’t personally invested in my failure, then I’m not powerless. I’m just navigating life. Same as everyone else.

This is what psychologists call an internal locus of control.

It doesn’t mean you’re responsible for everything that happens to you. Bad things happen. Unfair things happen. People let you down.

But you ARE responsible for how you respond.

You control:

Whether you try again
Who you spend time with
What you focus on
How you interpret what happens
What you build next

That’s not small. That’s everything.

You can stay in the tank. Or you can swim in the ocean.

I started focusing on what makes ME happy. I started building something of my own. Not because circumstances got easier. Because I stopped waiting for them to.

I’d be lying if I told you I already got the magic formula.

Truth is, I’m aware that it might recur. The old feelings creep back in sometimes.

But now I have something I didn’t have before: I know what’s important to me. I know who I am.

I can play the game, but I do it on my own terms.

This is the shift I help people make.

And that’s the most powerful thing.

The world isn’t out to get you.

But it’s also not indifferent.

It’s vast. It’s full of possibility. It’s a space where you get to build, create, and become whoever you want to be.

Most of what happens isn’t personal. It’s just... what happened.

The colleague who screwed you over? Maybe they’re threatened. Maybe they’re selfish. Doesn’t really matter. What are YOU going to do about it?

The opportunity that didn’t work out? Bad timing, bad fit, bad luck. So what’s next?

The unfair treatment? Yeah, it sucks. And you still get to decide what you do with it.

The universe gives you what you’re aligned with. Stop focusing on what’s against you, and you’ll see what’s for you.

If you’d told my 25-year-old self that I’d be here, building my own thing, doing this work, moving forward on my own terms; he’d say “I’m damn proud of you.”
And also… “why did it take you this long to figure it out?”

So yes, you’re not that special.
Your problems aren’t unique. Your fears aren’t prophetic.
The unfair things that happened to you? They happened.
And they don’t get to define what happens next.
And they certainly don’t get to define who you are.

But then, you’re also absolutely special. Because you get to choose what you do with that experience.

You get to focus on what’s within your control.

You get to stop waiting for circumstances to change and start building anyway.

You get to move.

The question is: Will you?